By no means am I content in all circumstances but I am learning. 

I recently finished a Matt Chandler study on Philippians: “Philippians: To Live is Christ, To Die is Gain”.   It is a 12 session study with the last session titled “True Contentment”.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the journal entries I’m sharing touch on the contentment that I was beginning to experience in my circumstances:

Tuesday September 19th 2017

It’s been a while since I’ve written in my journal.  A few random updates, I have continued to be successful reducing my drinking and staying within my limits.  I am down to XXXXXXXXXXXXXX and rather than doing that for 2 weeks my plan is for 1 week and as of tomorrow dropping to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX with the goal of quitting on my birthday 09/27.  I feel as good about this as I think I ever will.  I realize there will still be battles, urges and triggers but I feel like I’m prepared to deal with them.  I listened to a sermon recently about addiction and the pastor’s main point was any addiction can’t be beaten without a change in the heart related to your relationship with God.  I believe that change is occurring within me. 

Rend Collective’s We Are More than Conquerors has been a song I’ve listened to alot lately and I made the connection with Romans 8:37 (which I’m trying to memorize).

I’m finding contentment with where I’m at and I know that’s only coming from God.  

I praise God for his unfailing love and for providing everything I’ve needed to heal and get me to the point where I’m ready to quit drinking.
Wednesday September 20th 2017

Listened to a Timothy Keller sermon on my way to counseling today – “Removing idles of the Heart”.  He talked about the difference between Self-Pity & Repentance.  Self-Pity is thinking about the consequence of sin, how it’s messed up your life – you hate the consequence of sin.  Self-Pity leads to continuing to love the sin, so it still has power over you but hating yourself for being so stupid.  True Repentance is saying what has this sin done to God, who sent his son to die for me.  Taking your sin to the cross, when you see what effect it’s had on the loving God it melts you and you begin to hate the sin.  It begins to lose its attractive power over you.  Instead of hating yourself you hate the sin, the idol bit by bit begins to get crushed.
  
I shared this with XXXXXX today, when I first started coming to see XXXXX I hated the consequence of my sin.  I still wanted to drink and thought I needed to drink.  Over the last several weeks/months God has helped me to start my day with scripture for over 30 days straight and that among other things have begun to change my heart.  I am overwhelmed with how much God loves me and has done and is doing for me.  For the first time I truly believe I can quit drinking and I am actually excited about the thought of it.  It’s like a burden that will be lifted.  I have gone from hating the consequence of my sin/addiction to hating the sin itself and for that I say PRAISE THE LORD!!!

As I’m writing this morning, Josh Baldwin’s “Let the Redeemed” is playing and I am struck by these lyrics (full lyrics below):

“There is joy in the morning

Springing up in my soul

There is life worth living

‘Cause He calls me His own

And there’s a hallelujah

After sweet victory”

That sums up very nicely what I’m feeling related to contentment.  My contentment comes from knowing that He – Jesus calls me His own.  There is victory over whatever comes our way if we are His. We know that whatever happens here in this life will end in eternity with Him.  

I don’t want to suggest that I live a life of constant contentment, those who know me best certainly know that isn’t true.  In the Philippians study, Matt Chandler talks about the need to practice the things that we read in scripture, including being thankful in every circumstance. It’s not natural for me to be content (let alone thankful) when things aren’t going my way, but it’s something that is getting easier as I practice and learn to take it all to the Lord.

And so…as I’ve been thinking about this, I have begun to consider other personal struggles that present the opportunity for me to “practice” what scripture calls me to do so that I might be obedient. In addition to being content, being thankful in all circumstances, praying for and loving my enemies, praying without ceasing, and not being anxious about anything are commands that the Lord has given us.

The consequence of my addiction and sin have dramatically altered my life. Some of these consequences have been and are still very painful, but in some way that I can’t really explain He has provided what I have needed when I have needed it. I know this is His grace and that’s the only way I have found this contentment.

PRO FOOTBALL

I’m a Chicago Bears fan, so the football playoffs are disappointing to watch since they aren’t participating (I realize that I’ve been writing about being content LOL). However, I’ve been struck by how many of these high profile players are actively professing a faith in Christ: Drew Brees, Ryan Tannehill, Derrick Henry, Russell Wilson and Kirk Cousins to name a few.  I’ve been especially impressed by Kirk Cousin’s story, well worth the 5+ minutes when you have time:

OTHER BLOGG STUFF – Songs and Quotes…

LET THE REDEEMED by Josh Baldwin

He led me out of the desert
Brought me into His streams
River of living water
Turned my bitter into sweet
And all my burdens are lifted
You took the shackles off my feet

There’s no sound louder than a captive set free

So let the redeemed of the Lord say so
Sing of His promises ever more
Pour out your thankfulness, let it overflow
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so

There is joy in the morning
Springing up in my soul
There is life worth living
‘Cause He calls me His own
And there’s a hallelujah
After sweet victory

And there’s no sound louder than a captive set free
No’ there’s no sound louder than a captive set free

So let the redeemed of the Lord say so
Sing of His promises ever more
Pour out your thankfulness’ let it overflow
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so

You are my Deliverer
The freedom I’m livin’ in
You are my Deliverer
You are my promised land
Oh’ You are my Deliverer
The freedom I’m livin’ in
God, You are my Deliverer
You are my promised land

So let the redeemed of the Lord say so
Sing of His promises ever more
Pour out your thankfulness, let it overflow
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so
Pour out your thankfulness’ let it overflow
Let the redeemed of the Lord say so

I’ll never be alone anymore
How could my voice be quiet?
You are my Deliverer
You are my Deliverer

QUOTE

For pride is spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, contentment, or even common sense.

C.S. Lewis

Until next time I’m thankful for the scars, may God Bless You!

KB