PSALM 119:71 (NIV) "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees"

Tag: Hebrews 11:6

Alcohol free for 3 Years

A year ago today I posted my first entry on this blog – I had gone 2 years without a drink.  By the grace of God, I’m blessed to be able to say it’s now been 3 years.

This was my prayer a year ago and continues to be my prayer today:

My continued Prayer for this blog

My Father in Heaven, I thank you for your love, your grace and your mercy. I thank you for my brothers and sisters in Christ who have helped me get to this point. I praise you and thank you for giving me this opportunity to praise you through the sharing of my story. I ask that by sharing I would honor you and show others how great your love is for all of us. I ask this is Jesus’ name – Amen!

Hopeless to Hope

I would like to encourage anyone who is struggling with an addiction that there is hope.  One of my devotionals last week said “Hopelessness is the doorway to hope.  You have to give up on yourself before you will be excited about the hope that is yours in Christ Jesus.” 

Looking back, I was hopeless. Facing the loss of my family, I did not want to quit drinking and I couldn’t imagine a life without alcohol.  But when I found my end, I found hope and here I am today able to write about being sober for 3 years. 

How did it happen?  During the summer of 2017, I got to the point where I had no choice but to give up on myself.  I didn’t realize it at the time but the Lord was slowly changing me.  Initially leading me to confess to my closest friends and family and trust them with my secret.  Accepting the help that was being offered from friends and family.  Convincing me to agree to attend counseling.  Humbling me to accept offers to spend time together with my friends and family so I didn’t have to be alone.  These small steps moved me closer to Jesus, where I found hope.  That hope motivated additional small steps such as committing to start each day with prayer and Bible reading. 

I would encourage anyone struggling with an addiction to take one small step towards recovery.   Whatever step you take: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6. 

I referenced this in my last post.  I read it yesterday morning during my devotionals and feel it expresses what I’m trying to say about moving from a life of hopelessness to a life of hope.

 New Morning Mercies

A Daily Gospel Devotional – Paul David Tripp

True faith lives on the basis of two unshakable realities — that God really does exist and that he always rewards those who seek him.

Grace has positioned me on two foundation stones that have redefined my identity, redirected my purpose, reshaped my desires, rescued my thoughts, and reformed my living.  I have new reason to get up in the morning and face my day with courage, hope, joy, confidence, and rest.  Your grace has changed everything, for it has made me sure that you exist and that you reward those who seek you (Heb. 11:6).

Grace changes us, changed me from a life of chains and addictions to a life of peace and freedom – hopelessness to hope. Thank you Jesus!

OTHER BLOG STUFF – Songs and Quotes…

The Father’s House

Cory Asbury

Sometimes on this journey
I get lost in my mistakes
What looks to me like weakness
Is a canvas for your strength
And my story isn’t over
My story’s just begun
And failure won’t define me
‘Cause that’s what my Father does
Yeah, failure won’t define me
‘Cause that’s what my Father does

Ooh, lay your burdens down
Ooh, here in the Father’s house
Check your shame at the door
‘Cause it ain’t welcome anymore
Ooh, you’re in the Father’s house

Arrival’s not the end game
The journey’s where you are
You never wanted perfect
You just wanted my heart
And the story isn’t over
If the story isn’t good
And failure’s never final
When the Father’s in the room
And failure’s never final
When the Father’s in the room

Ooh, lay your burdens down
Ooh, here in the Father’s house
Check your shame at the door
‘Cause it ain’t welcome anymore
Ooh, you’re in the Father’s house

Yeah, you’re in the Father’s house
Yeah-yeah

Prodigals come home
The helpless find hope
Love is on the move
When the Father’s in the room
Prison doors fling wide
The dead come to life
Love is on the move
When the Father’s in the room
Miracles take place
The cynical find faith
And love is breaking through
When the Father’s in the room

The Jericho walls are quaking
Strongholds now are shaking
Love is breaking through
When the Father’s in the room
I said, love is breaking through
When the Father’s in the room

Ooh, lay your burdens down
Ooh, here in the Father’s house
Check your shame at the door
‘Cause it ain’t welcome anymore
Ooh, you’re in the Father’s house

Yeah, lay your burdens down
Ooh, here in the Father’s house
Check your shame at the door
(Welcome anymore)
Ooh, you’re in the Father’s house

QUOTES

“Time with God can combat hopelessness.  It moves our attention from the circumstances to the Father’s great love for us.”

In Touch devotional, Charles Stanley

“Optimism is psychological; hope is theological.  Optimism focuses on what you think you can do.  Hope trusts what God can do.”

rick warren

Until next time I’m thankful for the Scars, may God Bless You!

KB

STRUGGLES

With recovery comes regret, shame, and pain. This process has caused me to face things that I have done and hurts that I have caused. They are things that I can’t take back or undo and I struggle with them often. It is possible that I always will…I don’t really know. 

I have many others struggles as well.  I think I’ve written in a previous post how much it frustrates me that I forget what the Lord has taught me and that He has to reteach me.  You might think that, after all the pain and regret alcohol has caused me, I would never consider drinking again.  I have days like that, but I also have days when I think it wouldn’t hurt to have a beer or a glass of wine.  There are other days when I think about drinking a lot more than that, turning to alcohol instead of turning to the Lord when I’m facing difficult circumstances.

I am reminded of two little phrases that help me with these battles, the relearning.

“Constant Redirection”

“Holy Discontentment”

Life for me has become a series of “Constant Redirection”.  As I’m tempted or tested, I have to constantly redirect my thoughts and attitudes toward Jesus.  That means reminding myself of the promises we have in scripture, that means prayer instead of worry and anxiety.  I’m re-learning things every day, I’ve got a long way to go.  To borrow a phrase from the world of sports, I’m trying to “trust the process,” the process of coming to know Jesus better on a daily basis.

“Holy Discontentment” is a phrase I heard from Matt Chandler. Although I can’t explain it the way he can, to me it means simply the idea of not being satisfied with what I know about Jesus.  It’s always wanting more of Him, to know Him more, to know Him better.   If you’re interested, here’s a good YouTube video where he touches on it:

UNSHAKABLE REALITIES

God is bigger than everything that comes my way in this world.  I read the following devotion exactly one year after I committed to quit drinking, and it expresses this truth.

September 26th (2018)

True faith lives on the basis of two unshakable realities—that God really does exist and that he always rewards those who seek him.

Grace has positioned me on two foundation stones that have redefined my identity, redirected my purpose, reshaped my desires, rescued my thoughts, and reformed my living.  I have new reason to get up in the morning and face my day with courage, hope, joy, confidence, and rest.  Your grace has changed everything, for it has made me sure that you exist and that you reward those who seek you (Heb. 11:6).

There’s a line from a song by Elias Dummer that I love, he says: “With nothing, I still have everything Jesus, you are enough for me”.  A Bible verse I’ve been praying lately is Zephaniah 3:17 where it is written: “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save…..”.

He is enough. Thankfully He has been, He is and He always will be in my midst. He has saved me from addiction, He has saved me from myself.

In my darkest days, He has provided me with the courage, hope, joy, confidence and rest that was needed to fight through the darkness.  Without a doubt His grace has reshaped my desires, rescued my thoughts and reformed my living.  I mentioned in a previous entry how when I was drinking I often “planned” my drinking for the evenings or weekends, when and how I would drink as much as possible without appearing to have a problem.  Thankfully that way of living is gone.  My living continues to be reformed and by faith I intend to seek him daily.  He truly does reward those who seek Him, I’ve experienced those rewards in so many ways.

OTHER BLOG STUFF – Songs and Quotes…

Keep Making Me

Sidewalk Prophets

Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know you will hold me
Make me lonely

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making
I know you keep making
Lord, please keep making me

QUOTE

Most of the grand truths of God have to be learned by trouble; they must be burned into us with the hot iron of affliction, otherwise we shall not truly receive them.

Charles Spurgeon

Until next time I’m thankful for the Scars, may God Bless You!

KB