760 days and counting …

How does a recovering alcoholic get to a point where he can say “it was good for me to be afflicted” or I’m thankful for the scars?  For me it has been simply through the grace of God! 

Romans 6:22-23 (MSG)

But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise!  A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way!  Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death.  But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.

Who am I?

My name is Kurtis Bunfill, I’m not a writer, I’m not highly educated and I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing 🙂 . But I do know I want to share what the Lord has done for me. As the verse above says I’ve learned I don’t have to listen to sin and discovered delight in listening to God. This way of living is truly a gift from God and is “real life” leading to eternal life.

Over the past 2+ years I’ve been shown the value of the body of Christ and how through prayer, confession and fellowship with other believers I could be set free from my of sin of addiction.

Alcohol controlled my life, it was and idol for me and nearly destroyed me. From alcohol.org:

What is a Functioning Alcoholic?

The stereotype of an alcoholic as someone who has hit rock bottom and has become homeless due to alcohol abuse is often quite accurate. However, not all alcoholics become unable to function physically or in society.  The functioning alcoholic manages to appear normal and sober and in some cases even achieves success in high-powered career field, all while consuming larger and larger amounts of alcohol on a daily basis.

That is a pretty good description of who I was. I had a good job, I coached my kids sports teams, attended Church regularly, pretty much functioned normally or so it appeared. From the outside looking in I most likely did not appear to have a problem with alcohol. However, what others didn’t see was the amount of alcohol I consumed pretty much ever night. No one was aware of the hidden stashes I had in my basement and often times in my vehicle. No one including myself knew the control that alcohol had over me.

Prayer for this blog

My Father in Heaven I thank you for your love, your grace and your mercy. I thank you for my brothers and sisters in Christ who have helped me get to this point. I praise you and thank you for giving me this opportunity to praise you through the sharing of my story. I ask that by sharing I would honor you and show others how great your love is for all of us. I ask this is Jesus’ name – Amen!

September 27th 2019

Today will be 760 days (2 years) since I drank my last beer or consumed any alcohol. It’s been a long journey to get to the point where I’m able to publicly share my story. I have struggled and continue to struggle at times with the shame of my past but in faith I believe the Lord can and will use my story to help others with similar problems.

Morning Devotionals

Part of my morning routine is to read a devotional written by Paul David Tripp and I’d like to share a couple of paragraphs from his devotionals related to my identity in Christ and God’s grace. These truths based on scripture have helped me get over the mistakes of my past and have allowed me to get to the point of starting this blog.

Paul David Tripp on Eternal Identity and Grace

TRIPP on ETERNAL IDENTITY: The gospel of Jesus Christ frees me from seeking my identity horizontally because I am given an eternal identity in Christ.  It also frees me from being worried about being known or exposed because I know that nothing could ever be exposed about me that hasn’t already been covered by the precious blood of Jesus.

TRIPP on GRACE: You see, when you’ve done something wrong, it’s not natural to look inside yourself for the cause.  Sin makes us all shockingly self-righteous.  It makes us all committed self-excusers.  Somehow, some way, we all buy into the delusion that our biggest problems live outside us, not inside us.  We all have very active inner lawyers, who rise to our defense in the face of any accusation of wrong.  We are all very skilled at presenting the logic of the argument that what we have done says more about the flawed people and dysfunctional things around us than it does about us.  When our consciences bother us because of the faithful convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit, we are all tempted to dodge blame by locating the cause elsewhere.  We all tend to be much more concerned about the sin of others than we are about our own but, John says, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).

Because accepting blame is not natural, it takes rescuing, transforming grace to produce a humble, willing, broken, self-examining, help-seeking heart.  Only divine grace can soften a person’s heart.  Only grace can help your eyes to see what you need to see.  Only grace can decimate your defenses and lead you to confess.  Only grace can cause you to quit pointing your finger and to run to your Redeemer for his forgiveness and delivering power.  Only grace can enable you to forsake your own righteousness and find your hope and rest in the righteousness of another.  Only grace can make you more grieved over your sin than about the sins of others.  Only grace can make you accept your need for grace.  Only grace can cause you and me to abandon our confidence in our own performance and place our confidence in the perfectly acceptable righteousness of Jesus Christ.  Only grace can cause us to put our hope in the only place where hope can be found – in God and God alone.

What’s Next?

Over the next several weeks I will be sharing some of my experiences, my learning both good and bad, of where I was, where the Lord has led me and where He continues to lead me. My hope is to show how God through His Grace has changed me from being a “committed self-excuser”. I was someone who didn’t believe he had a major sin and heart problem. God’s Grace has led me to put my hope in the only place where hope can be found – in God and God alone. This Grace has softened my heart, opened my eyes to see what I needed to see and led me to confession which continues today as I start this blog. Grace led me to run to my Redeemer for his forgiveness and his delivering power.

Other Blog Stuff – Songs and Quotes…

Christian Music has been a major part of my journey these past 2 years, each post I plan to share a song with you that has impacted me in some way, so here goes……

Scars by I Am They

Waking up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn’t trade it for anything
‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You’ll use

So I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I’m standing in confidence
With the strength of Your faithfulness
And I’m not who I was before
No, I don’t have to fear anymore

So I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, In Your feet
I found my victory
I can see, I can see
How You delivered me
In Your hands, In Your feet
I found my victory

I’m thankful for Your scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And with my life I’ll tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful
I’m thankful for the scars

‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Quote

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn no other way.”

C.S. Lewis

Until next time, I’m thankful for the scars, may God Bless you!

KB